2016

by Brian Evans

 

I have been a GHMC member since 2005, and somehow, in a brain-dead moment, I recently casually commented to a fellow member that I had never been given or “earned” the monthly HA award in all these years. In fact, I had never even been nominated! 

Every meeting, month after month, I just sit there shaking my head at the woeful tales of lost purses, wallets left on roofs of cars (or club checkbooks Mr. President?), keys locked in trunks, people taking wrong turns while leading club tour caravans, running over stuff (traffic cones, picnic benches, whatever!) On and on it goes…

So because of my casual comment to the fellow female member, (distinction made because I don’t believe one of my fellow bro’s would have conspired to pursue this)…I believe I was set up!

At the November Board Meeting at Mary’s Pizza Shack, word got to Ileine to toss a ziplock (NOT brand new/unopened) bag of loose candy, specifically loose pieces of Starburst, onto the table where Frank and I were sitting. NOTHING was said, so I thought to myself, “Good ol’ Ileine, she’s got some leftover Halloween candy she’s trying to get rid of, we’re not ordering dessert tonight…let me see if I can help her out.”  Eyeing plenty of the strawberry/cherry variety, I ate a couple pieces while club business was being discussed. Okay, it might’ve been 4 or 5…but definitely not more than 6-7 pieces! With 100% recall I know I left all of the yellow lemon ones! What a great gal she is, she knows I love candy! So thoughtful! I re-zipped the ziplock bag and passed it over to Frank, except for he didn’t pass it on, the bag just sat there. Still savoring the cherry and strawberry pieces stuck between my teeth, I look up to see several people snickering and pointing, and staring in my direction. “What? That loose, leftover candy in a ziplock bag was for the Troops?  Well, why didn’t someone say something?”…I mentioned to my side of the room. All part of the conspiracy I guess!

I didn’t have a good feeling over the weekend over how this honest mistake was going to turn out at the next club meeting, so I went out and bought three of the largest packs of Starburst I could find, and threw in four bags of Skittles for good measure, and delivered them to Frank’s house. See picture below as Defense Exhibit #1, and fellow club members, please note that these were brand new, unopened items, which are more appropriate and suitable for donation to our Troops! I thought I was home free with this charitable act of atonement, but at last week’s meeting, once word spread that I had never received the “HA”, I was done for!